One Vital Question that will Transform Your Teaching

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You look out and see glassy eyes. Shoulders drooped. Sagging jaws. Boredom. You’re trying to speak the very words of life, the greatest story ever told, and they look, well, asleep.

Have you been there?

How does this happen? We spend hours preparing. We study the passage. We research the topic. We tell our most interesting stories. And still, we fail to see transformation. If God’s Word changes lives, why do they look so much the same?

Of course, it could be a lot of things—even things outside of our control. Maybe they stayed up too late last night. Maybe they have hard hearts. Maybe they had a fight with their best friend this morning.

But sometimes, it’s on us. Sometimes, no matter how much we study, how many stories we tell, and how many clips from YouTube we use, we fail to connect. We fail to engage. We fail to answer everyone’s most important question:  [Read more…]

Know How to Answer: “How is your religion different than mine?”

People have fought over the differences between ‘religions’ for millennia. Some of the darkest moments of human history resulted from faith wars. And those conflicts–and questions–continue today. Just yesterday, I was approached by a follower of Hare Krishna, asking for a donation to their cause. Others choose to avoid the conversation altogether, and declare that all spiritual practices are equal–and maybe even lead to the same place. How do you respond when someone asks you the difference between their religion and yours? And how do you help someone see the freeing grace of the gospel when they’re locked in something else?

Here’s my attempt at a response. What would you add? (This post is part of series: 12 Questions Young People are Asking–and You Should Know How to Answer. Click here to see the other posts in this series, including an intro.)

Similar Questions:

  • How are evangelicals different from Catholics/Orthodox?
  • Why are you so against Mary? Why can’t we pray to Mary and the saints?
  • My priest says that the Protestant church is not the real church, so what do you say?
  • Why don’t you pray to icons?
  • What the difference between Christians and Jehovah’s Witnesses?
  • What is the difference between the God of the Bible and the god of Koran?

Question Behind the Question:

How is this different than what I’ve experienced?  Are you saying my church is wrong?

Push it Personal:

What differences have you noticed?  What do you think of those differences?

Points to ponder:

  • “It sounds like you have some great questions about how your church is different than my church.  I’m not against your church; I’m just doing my best to live out what the Bible says.  Would you be interested in reading the Bible with me?”  (Focus on your similarity—the belief in the Bible—and invite them into that.)
  • “The most important thing to me is my relationship with God.  The Bible tells me that I can talk directly to him, anytime I want (Heb. 4:16).  So, I talk to God, not anyone else, because no one else is as important as God.”  (In response to a question about praying to Mary or to icons.)
  • “The most important thing for me is that I have a relationship with God only because Jesus died for my sins on the cross.  The Bible tells me that I can do absolutely nothing to earn a relationship with God (Eph 2:8-9).  That’s the most important thing for a church to teach.”  (Focusing on what our church does, not on what their church doesn’t.)

Connect with Christ:

“When Jesus died on the cross to pay for the evil things we do, He paid for everything.  Sometimes we think that we need to do something more to earn a relationship with God (like going to church, praying to Mary/icons, confession, etc.).  But, that’s like telling Jesus that what He did on the cross wasn’t good enough.  I never want to tell Him that!”

Self Story:

Story of how you chose your church, and why.

How about you? What would you add to this conversation?

12 Questions Young People are Asking–and You Should Know How to Answer

Have you ever walked away from a conversation and then thought about what you wished you had said?

Or, have you ever had a conversation scheduled, and wished you knew how it would go? Maybe you’re anticipating conflict or confrontation, and you wish you knew how the other person will respond.

Question Mark

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could know what is coming? This is especially true when sharing the gospel with someone. It would be so nice to know what their questions or objections will be … what their places of resistance or confusion will be.

Young people are asking 12 common questions today. These aren’t questions from a book. They aren’t from some smart professor at a college. These are questions that young people in Central and Eastern Europe are asking today … and perhaps young people around the world. I feature one of these questions from time-to-time on this blog.

In this talk, I intro the 12 questions material, and a basic strategy for walking with people through hard questions. If you want all of the 12 Questions material, sign up for my blog by email (on the right), and I’ll send you a free ebook with all 12 questions. Click here for a preview.

(If the audio player above doesn’t work, click here to play or download the file.)

(PS–If you enjoy this material, you might also enjoy 3 Essential Postures for Walking with Students Through Hard Questions and 5 Key Questions for Understanding the Mind of a Young Person. Or, click here for my audio page.)

5 Strategies for Tough Questions–Part 1: Find the Question Behind the Question

He sounded like the short, bald guy from Princess Bride that walked around saying “inconceivable” in that strange, nasally voice. He looked a bit like him, too (but don’t tell him I said that). I was sitting in the hard, blue, plastic chairs of L101 at Multnomah University in a class called Adolescent Psychology, and he was the professor. In that nasally voice he kept saying, “The question is rarely the question.”

Shield

(Photo by Isah on http://www.sxc.hu)

It’s true. Someone asks, “How can you claim you have the only way to God?” But they really might mean, “Isn’t that arrogant of you to claim that you, of all people, know the only truth?” Another asks, “What about all the evil and suffering in the world? Is God really good?” But they actually might be asking, “Can I really trust or believe in a God who allows so much hurt?” A third person asks, “What proof do you have for me? Why should I believe this is actually real?” But they really want to know, “How can I be logically certain this is true?” There is almost always a Question Behind the Question.

Until you find the Question Behind the Question, all your energy is wasted.

Until you find the Question Behind the Question, they won’t really hear anything you say.

So, how do we find the Question Behind the Question?

  1. Always assume there is a deeper question. When I started in youth ministry, my dad told me, “Rob, you need to ask the questions that students want to ask but are afraid to ask. And, you need to ask the questions that students should be asking but don’t yet know to ask.” Assume a deeper question, and ask that question for them.
  2. [Read more…]

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